


Home For Christmas

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-16
Updated: 2011-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:03:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8812489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Not communicating with each other can lead to some serious consequences.Jensen is just the one to experience it first hand.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

Crying he dropped the piece of paper he wrote just minutes ago and looked around the empty house for the last time. Everything was quite around him, happy Moments he had spent here were fading like good old memories. He could still see himself prepare breakfast in the kitchen, a smile on his face, waiting for his beloved to wake up. Tears ran down his face and he let his hand stroke over the wooden tabletop. Just a few days ago he had thought that he would move in, spend his life with his beloved boyfriend, sharing good and bad times but now all these thoughts were nothing more than hurting memories, and unfulfilled wishes.

He laid the paper down on the kitchen table, took a step back and whispered "Sorry..." as he picked up his bags and turned to go. Just a few steps forward and he was reaching the front door, patting Harley’s and Sadie’s heads for the last time, whispering a last goodbye, tears still running down his face, before he shut the door behind him and put his keys into the post box.

He walked up to his car, opened the trunk and put his bags in there, shut it again and sat down on the drivers seat. Sinking into the seat, his fingers trembling, gripping tight on the wheel as he laid his sight once more on the house which was supposed to be their home soon. It was supposed to keep them save from everything and it had done his best, even when it was Jared’s. But now it was all over, he wouldn’t be able to stay here anyway because he knew he wouldn't be welcome any longer. There was something about him Jared wouldn't understand or at least he wouldn't tolerate it.

Again he thought of the piece of paper he had left beside something special on the kitchen table. Once again he said the words he had just written down and the tears welled up again as he drove away from the yard, leaving the house and his boyfriend behind, not knowing where to go or what to do anymore. But he knew one thing. He wasn't able to stay here and just enjoy what was going on with him and he prayed that one day Jared could forgive him for making such a terrible mistake...

 _"Sorry..._  
Hun, you will know that this is definitely not easy for me, but I have to leave. Never mind where I am, just know that I will always love you and I did go because there was no other opportunity.  
Please don't look for me. I just want you to live your life and enjoy it. But God knows I will miss you and I will never stop loving you...  
Jen..."


	2. Chapter 1

  


  


Jared was clutching the paper in his hand hard, the snow melting under his still car warmed feet, but still he was careful not to break the most important piece of paper in his life. He knew his chances were slim to none that Jensen would be at his old Apartment, but one could always hope, and hope was the last thing left right now.

With slightly shaking hands he knocked on the wooden door and waited. What was maybe just a few seconds appeared to be a lifetime waiting for him in this short time until the door was opened by an old man, deep lines tracing the years he’d lived in his face, a grey beard covering most of his face. If he wouldn’t be as depressed as he was right now he’d think he was standing in front of Santa Clause. Not that he was, but with thick white snow just having begun to fall this morning, after Jared had spent nearly eight months at home, never leaving the house in hope of Jensen calling and begging him to take him back, he’d finally decided to take matters in his own hands.

“Ehm, I’m looking for Jensen Ackles,” Jared said unsure if the man even knew who he was talking of. He saw a small smile appearing on the mans face and the door closed in front of his face. Jared just stood stuck there for a few seconds before he knocked again, this time with more intent, because he wouldn’t let this man hold him up in his search for Jensen.

When the door opened again after a few seconds Jared took a deep calming breath. “I said -,” but was stuck mid-sentence when the man held up his hand to stop his certainly to come word flow.

“He’s moved on you see boy, all I have is a number, you better ask him why, not me. I don’t even know why he’d left me his new number. When I saw him it was clear that that boy would never come back for anything as unimportant as an old Apartment. That boy had even left all his belongings here, just took what he need and went off,” with that said the man handed him a piece of paper, numbers written in Jensen’s careful writing. He whisked over the paper softly. As if to feel Jensen’s warmth again.

“Merry Christmas, Jared Padalecki, hope all your wishes come true,” the man said what made Jared looked up, but before he could wish the man the same, the door again shut in his face.

He sighed and went down the stairs again, searching in his pocket for his cellphone, the paper Jensen had left him now securely tucked inside his back pocket. When he’d finally found his phone and looked at the number again he hesitated. He worried if Jensen would even answer his call, but he didn’t want to back down, now that he’d gotten this far.

When he stepped out into the cold again he looked at all the bright shining Christmas lights, seeing families making their last rushed shopping for Christmas eve. Jared wished for something like this as well, not having celebrated Christmas alone in the last five years he was used to have Jensen by his side at this time of the year, and he didn’t want to break the tradition.

With intent he dialed the number and put the phone to his ear.

After a couple of dial tones he finally heard the voice that he’d so terribly missed at the other end of the line. “Hello?” he heard Jensen asking and felt tears spring to his eyes. Relief taking over that he really had the right number. “Somebody there?”

The last eight months really hadn’t been the easiest in his life. Okay, he knew that this wouldn´t be easy but he had done his best to get everything set for his Baby Boy. The baby boy he had been carrying in his belly for the last months was already born and he loved this kid so much, that he even set up everything for Kieran’s first Christmas on earth.

He had bought a Christmas tree, Presents for his little one and now he finally set down on his sofa and fed his baby. He was glad that the breastfeeding was not to do as a male being pregnant and having a child, because he felt weird enough looking at his expanded belly the last couple of months. So he just held the bottle, watching his son drinking in the milk as his cellphone rang. He grabbed it without looking and held it to his ear. “Hello?” he said, waiting for a voice to answer, but it remained quiet. He let out a deep breath, thinking about who might call him at this time of the day and sighing. “Somebody there?” he asked again and didn’t hear anything except of the noises of the streets. As he was a bit confused and didn’t want to listen to the noises of the street and just wanted to hang up he froze as he heard a voice he was sure of to never hear in his life again.

It felt good to hear his voice again and Jared’s heart nearly skipped a beat before he held his phone tighter to his ear and closed his eyes. "Jen..." was the only thing he said, not really able to say anything else at this moment. He took a few deep breaths and felt Tears running down his face, even if he didn’t want to cry. He just stood there, outside in the snow, holding his phone and waiting for Jensen to say something, but he didn’t. “Jen... i missed you...” he began to speak again and this time he continued “I’ve been looking for you, waited for your phonecall for over a month... Babe... It was an old man who finally gave me your number after all this time. Why did you leave, and why didn’t you even call?” He was more than unsure if his voice held all the anger he was feeling for the last eight months and he thought about what it was that he had done which made Jensen making his decision. “What was it Jen... what made you go? Jen... please... where are you... let us talk... Jen, we need to talk...” But before he could say anything else he was stopped cold. There was a cry at the other end and his eyes stared at the snow in confusion.

‘Oh shit!’ Jensen thought, Tears already running down his face. ‘Kieran not now...’ He tried his best to soothe his son back into drinking his milk and he finally brought his mind back to the call he was still surprised of. “Jensen what was that?” he heard Jared asking and for a moment he froze again. “N-nothing...” he said, forming a silent sorry with his lips and looking down on his son. “Just the telly... I... was watching a movie lately.” He waited a few seconds and almost felt relieved when Jared finally said “Okay...” Jensen was glad that his ex-boyfriend didn’t ask any more questions and then he laid his head back, crying. Yes he had missed Jared too, but he was sure that Jared would have dumped him the minute he would have seen that Jen was pregnant.

He knew that Jared was not into kids and it wouldn’t matter if it was his or not. The big Texan had talked about that too many times and so Jensen had seen no other opportunity than to go away, leaving Jared’s life and to never come back. But he had to admit one thing, he had missed him. He missed him badly. Ignoring his tears he felt his Baby Boy falling asleep and spoke the next words loud, even if he didn’t want to. “I miss you... too...” he said and then there was silence.


	3. Chapter 2

  


  


Jared was standing in a front yard at the border of L.A. where Jensen had apparently found refuge after he’d left Jared behind. He was shivering, but not from the cold and the snow that had fallen in L.A. as well, but from the anxious feeling he had for finally seeing Jensen again after months apart.

Both of them had talked for hours after Jared had finally found the guts to flat out tell Jensen that he wouldn’t hang up before Jensen hadn’t given him his current address. Jensen had refused at first, but had given in after Jared had assured him time and time again, that no matter what Jensen had been doing the time they were apart he still wanted to see him. Jared still was confused by the wailing noises coming from the the background time after time. He knew from the past that Jensen liked to watch all kinds of crazy shit but he’d never taken him of one of the guys who liked to watch baby series, even though he knew that Jensen belonged to one of the few male persons who were able to actually bear children, Jensen had told him from the beginning that they had to be careful, that when not it could be possible that he might become pregnant.

But if Jared was honest with himself, after five years together with a man he loved more than himself, he hadn’t cared anymore for protection, deep inside longing for Jensen to actually become pregnant.

They had never actually talked about having their own children, Jensen never seemed all that comfortable talking about his ability, so Jared had left the topic alone. But that had been their problem all along, never talking about their dreams and fears, living in the here and now.

Maybe Jared should have talked with Jensen about having children. Even more so because Jared never had been comfortable around children that weren’t his own, not that he had any, or at least not that he known of.

He rang the bell and the first thing he heard was the barking of some kind of dog, that he was sure of, but from the sound of it he wasn’t quite sure what to expect. When the door opened and a white fluff ball sprung right in front of him, Jared knew for sure, that he’d expected anything... except this.

The dog, or was it supposed to be a rat? He wasn´t quite sure, was still jumping excitedly in front of him like a white, fluffy bouncy ball.

“What’s this?” he asked irritated, not having looked up yet, too focused on the white ball of energy still jumping in front of him like a damn bouncy ball.

“Jared, meet Icarus, my dog, or how I like to call him, Icky.” Jensen explained and Jared could hear the smile in his voice, feeling at ease all of the sudden, because after their tearful phone call Jared had been prepared for anything. And this...dog? Certainly was reassurance enough, that they would possibly be okay in the end.

“Well, I’ll go by Icky, it seems like a more fitting name for him. Icarus seems like a rather big name for such a tiny dog.” Jared answered and finally looked up and was shocked by what he saw.

“Hello,” Jensen just said, before Jared’s world went black.

“Jay?!? - Jared...!!” Jensen said and was at his side immediately. Careful not to drop Kieran he kneeled down and ran his hand through Jared’s long brown hair. “Jay, come on... wake up...”

Just for one moment he thought about running away again and never come back but then he watched Icarus, licking and biting carefully down on Jared’s nose. At this sight he had to laugh a little. “Icky... stop it. Leave him alone...” he laughed and that was what woke Kieran up and made him cry. One of his neighbours just looked out of his door and after Jensen asked him, he came over and helped to carry the unconscious Jared inside the apartment and laid him down on the sofa after Jensen had walked in and set Kieran down in his crib, where he played with his teddy bear.

Then he went back into the living room after closing the front door and sat beside Jared. “Come on Jay, wake up... You knew that there was a reason why I left... and well now... you saw it...” He ran his hand through the long brown hair and smiled. How had he missed Jared, missed that scent of him and the feeling his hair left on his skin when he ran his finger through it.

So this was it... this was the way they were supposed to meet again and how to introduce Jared to his son. He sighed. Jensen had thought about this moment again and again, playing through many scenarios, but never expecting it to be quite like this.

And now that the moment was here he feared it. He was afraid about how Jared would react. Would he freak out? Or would he accept that Kieran was his? Would he doubt Jensen? Would he believe him when he told him that this small incredible man was the reason Jensen had run away some time ago?

All these questions made him shake a bit and when Jared finally opened his eyes he didn’t dare to move at all. Staring right in Jared’s eyes he saw the confusion there, and somehow, he didn´t know how it was possible, he still saw love shining in Jared’s eyes. A small and tiny smile appeared on his lips and he was thinking about leaning down and kiss the man he was missing for so long. But he didn´t. He just sat there, looked at him and hoped that Jared wouldn´t leave straight away.

Jared had known as soon as he had seen the baby in Jensen’s arms that the baby was his. The shape of his eyes, his tiny nose, the little boy had by far too many facial expressions that reminded him of himself. He didn’t know how, but as soon as he saw Jensen with the baby, carrying him in his arms the only thing on his mind had been “my family” before his world had gone black.

Now that he was slowly coming back to his mind, he felt something gliding through his hair and heard a soft whisper in his ears. “Jared? Can you hear me?” He couldn´t just open his eyes because his eyelids still felt too heavy, so he just turned his head a bit and grumbled in response. It took him a few minutes to come back to consciousness but as he finally managed to open them he attached his eyes straight to the crib standing in a corner of the warm and lovingly decorated living room.

He saw the baby boy lying there, cuddling with it’s Teddy bear and tried to sit up. It didn´t work straight away but then, after a few more minutes accustommating to the situation he finally sat up and took Jensen’s hand in his.

“The baby has the color of your eyes,” was the first thing he said when he finally found his voice again, no hatred in his voice at all. “And your contagious smile,” Jensen answered him, and brushed Jared’s lower lip with his thumb. “Dead give away with him when he did something wrong? His all dimpled smile.” Jensen said and looked over to the crib.

“What’s his name?” Jared asked as he sat up and went over to the crib to take a closer look at the baby. “Kieran Tristan Padalecki, it felt right to name him after his dad, and I always kinda loved your middle name, you know that. You can hold him... if you want to.” Jensen said and took the baby out of the crib and gently handed him over to Jared.

He was awed when he felt the wriggling baby in his arms for the first time. He was very careful, because seeing the baby in comparison with his hand, he was afraid to crush it.

“Hey Baby Boy, open your eyes for your daddy,” Jensen cooed and when the baby finally opened his eyes Jared felt tears burning in his own. “He’s beautiful. Perfect. Just like you,” and without further thinking about it, Jared pressed a kiss to Jensen’s lips. He’d missed kissing those lips, but most of all he had missed the feeling of being close to Jensen, sharing his daily activities with his partner.

“That why you left me? Because you were pregnant?” Jared asked at the same time Jensen asked “You’re not mad at me for getting through with the birth?” And is on cue, both of them began laughing, the tension that somehow built finally dripping away from both of them, and both of them knew immediately that everything would be alright again. “I’ve missed you,” both said at the same time.

“No babe... definitely not. I was scared of what could have happened that you just walked away and left me... Jensen, I love you and I love our baby boy. But the next time you get pregnant... don’t even think about leaving again, you hear me? Next time I want to be there when our baby is born, want to be there to see it, feel the way the baby grows in your body and want to be there to hold you.” Jared said while holding Jensen’s face in his hands. Looking deep into his hopefully now again partners eyes.

That was the moment all color vanished from Jensen’s face. Even his freckles had lost it’s color and his eyes went so wide that one could put a plate in it if tried hard enough. He just swallowed hard and nearly forgot to breathe. “Next time? You mean... you want... I should... we will... Jared?!” He could not believe that Jared wanted him all pregnant again. All the pain he had gone through during the last months of his pregnancy had been forgotten as soon as he had seen his baby boy but still... did he really want to go through all of this again?

Jared just read the impressions changing on his boyfriends face and smirked. “Yes Jen... I want you to be pregnant again... You will get pregnant again and we will have another fantastic baby boy or girl.” He just ran his fingers down Jensen’s neck and down his spine before he just pulled him close and kissed him again. “And I will get you pregnant honey, before this night ends... This is no threat Babe... it’s a promise...”

Jensen’s eyes went wider and wider. For a small moment he thought about wishing Jared all the best and leave again, taking his baby with him and take the never-come-back-airlines to wonderland but then he came to his mind. It hadn’t been too bad to carry the child and he thought that it would be a lot easier with Jared’s help. “I... uhm... well... that means... does it?” “Yes that means...” the grin widened on Jared’s face and he kissed him again, looking forward to the hot and sweaty night they will spend together, celebrating their reconciliation. He just enjoyed the speechless Jensen for a second before looking at him again.

Then his eyes went down to the baby boy in his arms and a warming smile was to be seen in both of their eyes. They shared another kiss before they laid Kieran back into his crib, sitting on the sofa and cuddling. Sharing stories of what have happened to them in their time apart, ever watchful of their son nearby.

“Jensen?” Jared asked carefully after some time when the color in Jensen’s cheeks had finally returned. “I meant what I said about having another baby, but it doesn’t have to be now, you know, just... sometime. Be it next month, next year, or in five years. Just... I want to experience it with you together this time.”


	4. Epilogue

One Year Later

Kieran was busy ripping the gift wrapping of his Christmas presents while his dads were kissing under the mistletoe. The year together had felt amazing for every one of them. Even Kieran who had been kind of angsty around strangers had warmed up after being around Jared for some time. Just a couple of days back, he even had taken his first steps, and spoken his first word. It being “Dadda” wasn’t that much of a surprise for either Jared or Jensen. Nevertheless something was missing, and Jared just knew how to fix it.

“Jensen... You still haven’t opened your presents.” Jared said, still nuzzling his partners neck. “You still haven’t opened yours either. So knock it off,” Jensen answered and shoved Jared gently to the Christmas tree, where Kieran was sitting, clutching his still present Teddy bear tightly.

They sat down beside him and watched him for a little time, before Jared reached forward, taking a small Present in his Hand which gratefully was not seen by his son and handed it over. Smiling Jensen took the Present and held it for a Moment, leaning over and kissing Jared on his lips. “Whatever it is, thank you hun...” he said and then started to carefully unwrap the Gift.

His eyes went wide as he saw the little black velvet box and he hooked up his eyes with Jared as he opened it. Then he looked back on what he was doing and his heart nearly skipped a beat when he saw the platinum band in the box.

Bending on one knee, Jared gently took the jewelry box out of Jensen’s hands and held it in front of him. Already wiping away the tears off Jensen’s face. He smiled gently. “Please stop crying Jensen. You making me nervous,” Jared said, his hands beginning to shake. Sniffling slightly Jensen huffed a laugh and pressed a short kiss to Jared’s lips. “Stop babbling and ask me already, would you?”

It took Jared a moment but then he just looked at Jensen in awe. “Jensen Ross Ackles... We have spent a long time together and as you were not with me, I thought that I was missing something essential.You and Kieran, you two are my life and I don’t want to give any of it up under any circumstances. Jensen ... I want to spend my life with you and Kieran and therefore I ask you ... will you marry me?” His voice was shaking and so was his knee as he just waited for any reaction his boyfriend would give him and his heart was racing in his insides.

Not saying anything, Jensen just leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jared again. “Of course, Jared. YES!” He said and pulled Jared into a hug. He looked down when he felt something cold slip over his right ringfinger, and nearly began to cry again when he saw the ring blinking in the Christmas lights.

“So, why don’t you open your present now?” Jensen said, and handed Jared his present, not much bigger then the present Jared had handed him before. “It’s not a ring as well, isn’t it?” Jared asked with a smile on his face, and Jensen just shook his head. “Nah, just open it.” He said and held his breath when Jared began to tear the paper and he opened the box with the tiny shoes in it.

“Is this... what I think is?” Jared asked in awe. Jensen nodded. “Yes, I’m pregnant. Again. Merry Christmas, Jared.” He said smiling. “Merry Christmas to you too, fiancé.”

End...?


End file.
